Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
