so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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