p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
