I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
then he tried to convert me to islam
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize