Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
