He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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