I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize