Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
