the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
