She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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