If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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