Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
