I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
