You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
