gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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