did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am spending my child support on dildos
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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