I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
