You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
