i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
