You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
