K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
