someone get that fucking seahorse.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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