road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
