i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
