She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
