You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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