Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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