question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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