Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
