do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
