You really coming over, don't trick.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
