How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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