yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
