how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
