this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
