I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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