I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
