This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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