North Korea, Best Korea!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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