My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
