bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
