We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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