Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
