Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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