Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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