we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
we're so committed to being not committed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
