You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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