pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
