I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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