I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
