I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
