He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize