That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
