Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize