Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
