We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
